i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
zippers are such a cool invention
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
