your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
