Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
