i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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