glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
