He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
