i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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