We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
