: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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