batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
