where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I faked an abortion last night.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
