How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
