Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Randomize
