At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
