so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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