Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
