Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize