Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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