You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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