Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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