Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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