You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
