dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
