I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize