You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
