So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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