dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
