he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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