is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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