I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Walk of Shame today included voting.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
