Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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