well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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