So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
