You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
