Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
