he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
