Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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