This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
