i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
