Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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