Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
