I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
