don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she told me i tasted like america
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
