just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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