I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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