I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
