Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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