I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
