David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
