peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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