i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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