wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
