Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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