Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I supernannyed him into submission
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I currently don't understand fingers.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize