thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
