i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
