I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
