Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I am full of burrito and curiosity
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
